I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
