I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
