Already got asked if we're dating
Where is the hickey?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
