Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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