I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Randomize
