I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
