someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
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why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
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So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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