Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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