I am puke
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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