Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
