Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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