i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
farters have to be the big spoon...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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