I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
