Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He shit in the fireplace
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
