3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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