I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
