But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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