What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
