i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
and you fell through a lawn chair
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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