I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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