I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
