so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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