I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
