sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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