would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
