So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
