Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
