well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize