Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
