I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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