it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
We had to coat check the pizza.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
