tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
