I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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