Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
