Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize