I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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