YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
