just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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