so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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