No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
