You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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