I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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