and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
