You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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