Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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