She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
