Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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