better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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