In the future we'll all be gay
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
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This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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