Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The beer is more important than you right now.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
