Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
