I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm experimenting with sincerity
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
