non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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