everyone is single if you try hard enough
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
