Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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