Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
