AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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