There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
