I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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