Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
