I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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