Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize